Perfecting Beauty

You really are something beautiful you know that? Not because you are a size 0, not because you have flawless skin, not because you have it all together. No, you have a beauty much more precious than the shallow things we let define beauty. How should we define beauty then, you might ask? Simple, 1 Peter 3:3-4; it says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” Now what Peter is not saying is that we should never have our hair braided or wear jewelry and fine clothes. He is saying that we should not allow these things to become us; they should not be what we count our beauty as. These things are not our worth. They do not have the authority to define us, if  we do not let them. What does define us is what we let reflect out of us; that gentle and quiet spirit that is pleasing to God. But just how do we obtain this gentle and quiet spirit? Good question.

As I referenced in my last blog, I will again be using the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. I think they beautifully answer the question above by saying, “To have a gentle and quiet spirit is to have a heart of faith, a heart that trusts in God, a spirit that has been quieted by his love and filled with his peace. Not a heart that is striving and restless.” When we define our beauty the way the world does, we become restless. We constantly search for ways to improve our looks and we strive for peoples approval. All this striving only to never be satisfied. How different it is when we define our beauty the way God does. Continuing the quote above, it goes on to say; “A woman in her glory, a woman of beauty, is a woman who is not striving to become beautiful or worthy or enough. She knows in her quiet center where God dwells that he finds her beautiful, has deemed her worthy, and in him, she is enough.” How freeing it is to see your beauty through God’s eyes! To know that you are already adored and loved, not for looks, but for being who you truly are! Satisfaction is found when you come to grasp that the One who made you sees your beauty and He says it is enough, that you are worthy of admiration. But how hard it is to grasp that, when the world loves to point out your flaws.

For years I struggled with self-esteem issues, and still do on occasion. And its all because of this wonderful thing called acne. It was, and still can be, my worst enemy. Nothing could conceal the little devils. The more I tried to cover them the more obvious they became. And the more obvious they became the more comments were made. A comment that was made will forever be etched in my wounded heart. It was way back in my middle school days. I had this crush on a boy who I never stood a chance with, but we always hope right? So I hoped and hoped. And every chance I got to be noticed by him I took, even if the only time he noticed me was when I joked with him. But one day a joke hit home. I don’t even really remember what we were joking about, but it got harsh. I said something that put up his defenses and his comeback was, “Yeah, well you need to start using Proactive.” To some this may seem harmless, but to a young girl struggling with self-image, it hit hard. Especially coming from a boy who I wanted to be noticed by in a good way, not for my flaws. But here, in this seemingly harmless joke, he had expressed the only thing he really saw. The only thing anybody ever really saw. The thing I most desperately wanted to cover up and hide. For years I would struggle with this insecurity. I remember always praying that God would take away my acne, that He would allow me to be beautiful. I would make deals with Him saying that I wouldn’t be bad anymore if He would do this one thing for me, not really realizing that thats not how He works. As I matured in my faith and started to understand who He really was and how He really works, I started to see what true beauty was. I started to see that there are bigger things out there, more important things, other than worrying about what I looked like. As God was opening my eyes to these things, my eyes were less focused on my outward appearance and more on my inward appearance. How empty I was on the inside until I let Jesus in. He filled me up and gave me a new identity, one that was His own. He showed me the depth of His love for me and in that love I found my worth, I found my sense of belonging. The more I sought Him, the more He filled me. And because I was seeking Him, the less I was seeking the world and its shallow form of beauty.

It took me so long to get to that point, and it still is a daily battle to see myself through His eyes. But by His grace I am doing it. To this day I still bare acne scars that I acquired from the fight I had with them. Before I would look at them in disgust, but now I look at them in admiration. I look at them and see the battle God has brought me through. I see how far I have come. They may have left their mark, but they did not win the battle. I am not defeated, but rather have the victory in Christ’s redeeming love.

If this can be my testimony, it can be yours as well! So let’s throw off the chains of worldly beauty! Stop striving for outward adornment and start seeking an inward beauty, one of a gentle and quiet spirit! A beauty that is resting in the love of Jesus, who says you are enough! Who says you are worthy! You can have victory in Jesus, if you would only let Him in to love you! So what do you say? Are you ready to let Him in? Are you ready to let Him love you? Are you ready to let Him show you your true beauty?

I hope this has allowed you to start seeing beauty in a new light; that it isn’t about what the world says, but all about what God says! You are truly beautiful and loved more than you know! Go find your true beauty! Go find Jesus! Seek Him and let Him fill you!

God Bless You!

Love,

theblessingsgirl

Giving Up The Chase

Do you ever go to a public place and the first thought that come to your mind is, “I wonder if he is the one”? Have you ever noticed that when you are around a guy you are attracted to you start acting all cute hoping that it will attract him too? Do you ever think of all the conversations you might have later and try to plan ahead the perfect things you are going to say that will make him fall for you, or the things you might wear to attract him, or even the make up you will wear that will cover up all those flaws that you hope he miraculously never notices? If you said yes to any of these, which I hope someone did because that would be awkward if I was the only one, then you are caught up in The Chase. It is the constant pursuit of a man, and the longing to have his approval and admiration. Oh how exhilarating The Chase starts out, but as you keep participating how exhausting it becomes. The worst part is that it only leaves you brokenhearted and empty handed. So my question is, are you tired yet? Are you done doing the chasing? Me too.

How do we even get ourselves caught up in The Chase, anyway? I have been reading this book called Captivating by John and Staci Eldredge, and they go deeper into the heart of a woman and how uniquely it is created to reflect it’s Maker. A quote from the book that describes the longings of a woman’s heart answers this question quite well I think; “We think you’ll find that every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty.” We get so caught up in The Chase, because we long to have these three things satisfied. We long to fall in love and be loved in return. We long to play a role that no other woman can play, whether in a mans life or in life in general. And we long for our natural beauty to be noticed and admired. When we try to take control of how and when our longings are to be satisfied, that is when we start to enter into The Chase and get ourselves in trouble. And oh how Ive gotten myself into some deep trouble…

Ever since I can remember I have been boy crazy. All I wrote about in my diary was who my latest crush was and how much I loved them. I see how ridiculous it is now as I re-read it, but at the time it seemed right and real. I was in middle school when I started dating. Still so young and ignorant to what it actually meant to date and be committed to someone. So just as soon as the feelings came, they left not long after. The shame and guilt you feel to have to tell someone you just don’t feel the same way about them. This happened once more my freshman year with another guy. And then I moved. I entered a whole new world; a new town, and a much bigger school. Out of loneliness and desperation to stay connected to my old life, I went back to my first relationship. It was something familiar, something I missed. But it wasn’t right. And the more I forced it, the more I was really pulling it apart. And then I got my own taste of what it felt like to be broken up with. You begin to understand why they call it a heart break, because that is what it literally feels like. After that I stayed away from boys for a while, I only kept crushes. Then I graduated. I was at a point in my life when I needed to make some big choices; to go to college, or pursue my faith at an internship in Massachusetts? I decided to do the latter. But I just had to get myself caught up in one more relationship. And again it was out of desperation to hold on to something familiar before I was about to do something scary and new. Now my relationships where nothing close to God honoring, but this one was the worst of them all. How ironic when I was just about to go on this amazing faith journey. But that’s the truly beautiful thing, because it just amplifies the grace of God. I’m not excusing my behavior at all, but only pointing out that no matter how deep we go, God is always able and willing to save us from the pit. And thats what He did. As soon as I entered the internship, I knew that my relationship was the first thing He was calling me to let go of. And so, eventually, I did. The shame and guilt came at a more intense level, because I realized the depth of the pain I had caused, not only to this guy, but more so to God. But God is so forgiving and loving. He continued to work in me as I continued in the internship. My foundation was being built and I was developing a deep relationship with the Lord that I had never had before. But even in that place, distraction came. My attraction grew for a fellow believer in Christ. I figured it had to be off to a good start since we were both Christian. But it’s funny how many red flags you can dismiss and excuse when you really want something to go your way. I ended up getting my heart broken in a way I’d never felt before. The pain of betrayal from unfaithfulness cuts you so deep, and leaves the nastiest scar. But surprisingly it is not impossible to be healed. It was in the darkness of that hour that I was in total surrender to God. I had no one else to turn to, so all I had I gave to Jesus. And in that moment all I had was pain. As I gave Him my pain, He gave me healing. As I cried out, He gave me comfort. Oh how wonderful His love is.

I share with you this piece of my testimony, because it shows the pain of The Chase, but even more so it reveals the depth of a redeeming Love. Look at these verses that show just how great God’s love is:

“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17).

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

“But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are….” (1 John 3:1).

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels nor demons, neither present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).

If you notice, all three of the longings that I quoted above (from the book Captivating by John and Staci Eldredge), have been met by the love of God! We long for romance; God’s love is persistent and inseparable. We long to play an irreplaceable role; God has called us His children, because He love us so much. We long to have an unveiled beauty; God shows that He adores us and sees our beauty by rejoicing over us with singing. God is the only one who can truly satisfy our hearts longings. So why are we still chasing, when all we long for is found in Him? We continue The Chase because we either do not fully grasp the depth of God’s love (which we never really can, since it is so deep that we can’t even comprehend it), or we so easily forget!

Oh but how beautiful and fierce a woman is when she is radiating God’s love! When she walks with confidence in the affirmation of it! She has no need for man’s approval, because she is already accepted by the greatest Love of all! She has no need to attract attention to herself, because she is in the sight of her Creator. Everything about her screams beauty, not because she is flaunting herself, but because she is reflecting the Son. How desperately I long to be this woman; a woman so focused on Christ, that The Chase is no longer a distraction for me. No longer will I wonder, no longer will I force, no longer will I beg to be noticed. No longer will I be chasing, but only basking in the Love of my Creator.

That is why I vow to give up The Chase. No longer will I seek and pursue a man’s approval and affection. Rather, I will rest in the assurance that all my heart longs for is already fulfilled in Christ. Only He can satisfy this heart of mine. And until He makes it clear that a man is deserving of my heart, I will not search and force it into the hands of a man. What about you? Are you ready to stop chasing, and just start basking in the love of Christ? Are you ready to rest and let God love you?

I hope and pray the Lord would lead you to the depths of His love; that you would come to know just how satisfying it is! Also if you are interested in learning deeper about the heart of a woman and how it reflects God’s own heart, I highly recommend the book I quoted (Captivating by John and Staci Eldredge)!

God bless you!

Love,

theblessingsgirl

 

 

 

The Pursuit of New Years Resolutions

As the new year begins, so begins all the new years resolutions. We all have something we want changed in this new year; whether it’s loss of weight, more exercise, better time management, etc. And it really is a good thing to want change, because with change comes growth. When it comes to new years resolutions there are multiple ways to look at and enter into them. With the right attitude we can see that it is ok to have things that need change, and it is even better to make solutions that allow us to achieve that change. But more often we tend to twist new years resolutions to make us feel even worse about ourselves. We start out with these amazingly ambitious goals, but end up poorly planning attainable ways to keep us motivated to meet those end goals. Thus feeling like failures and taking out our pent up emotions on the whole new years resolution idea. Which then leads to us not wanting to ever make a new years resolution ever again. Or, in another theory, we already expect ourselves to fail at meeting our goals because we are lazy and unmotivated to actually achieve them, so we don’t even bother trying to make them.

New years resolutions aren’t intended to be these monstrous, unattainable goals though. They have to be realistic for what you are capable of and what you can actually see yourself achieving with some strategic planning and encouragement. I feel like there is a huge misunderstanding that some people have about their goals needing to be drastically huge, when in reality they can be as small as you want. Maybe it’s to just start getting into the habit of making your bed every morning for the year, so that you can at least have one achievement already done for the day. Or maybe it is just setting aside 15, or 10, or even just 5 minutes out of your day to do an exercise, or pray, or read your bible. Whatever it may be, just making the time and effort to do little goals like that can make a huge difference in a year! And add in some fun goals to keep you motivated! Make it a goal to join a dance class, or meet up with a friend every month, or try a new meal every once in a while! It doesn’t have to be boring or enormously hard in order for it to be “new years resolution worthy”. Should it be different than your normal routine? Yes. Should it be something that can bring about a more positive change to your life? Yes. But it should not be this massive weight of a goal that you have to grudgingly try and achieve.

To make this biblical in some way, as I always strive and love to do, change is what Jesus calls us to. Jesus does not want us to stay as infants in our faith in Him. Just as Paul wrote to the Corinth church in 1 Corinthians 3:1, “Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as worldly -mere infants in Christ.” The church was slipping back into worldly ways and not growing in their faith. They were still needing to be fed milk as infants do, rather than food that a mature adult could have, as Paul continued to say in verse 2. Meaning they needed to keep being taught the fundamentals of Christ, because they were not mature enough to keep away from worldly ways. And since they were not maturing and growing in the faith they were missing out on the depths of the knowledge of Christ; they were missing out on some really good food! This is not the state Jesus wants us in. He wants to make our faith “mature and complete not lacking anything” (James 1:4). But if you read that verse in context, it is talking about facing trials. So yes Jesus calls us to do hard things, and we will face things that will be challenging. So we will have to come to a point when we have to face those harder goals. But just as it takes time for an infant to reach that mature state, so will it be our process in meeting our hard goals. And God is a merciful and gracious Father. He will provide the strength you need when facing those trials; when facing those hard goals.

In conclusion, having new years resolutions is a good thing! When you enter into it with the right attitude you can see that change is a good thing and is actually necessary for growth. It is good to set goals that will help you get to this change. But they need to be goals that are attainable and that you can see yourself actually achieving. So if that means setting small goals that slowly build your confidence in your ability to actually carry out your goals, than start out with that. To keep you motivated, set fun goals along the way as well! But just as Jesus calls us to do hard things, we need to face our harder goals. It is in these harder goals that we will find the most growth in the change it takes to achieve them. God will provide us the strength needed to face them.

I hope that this will help you to look at new years resolutions in a new light! And I hope you can actually be excited to set goals for yourself, and see the change God can do through you! The greater joy is experience spiritual growth, so set yourself not only physical goals but also spiritual ones!

God bless you!

Love,

theblessingsgirl