When a friend asks you how you are dealing with the process of going through the loss of two people you love, one to death and the other to a break up, you have one of two answers to give. Theres the “I’m alright, it will all work itself out” response. Or you dig deep. Thankfully I have been blessed with such friends to pour out my “digging deep” response to. And that was just what I did.
I pondered the question about how I am dealing with the process, that she asked, and all I could picture was myself sitting out on a row boat in the middle of a raging sea. As I am in this row boat I am trying my hardest to work against the storm; I am doing everything I can to get to safety away from the crashing waves. But they keep coming, one after the other, after the other, and it seems like it will never end. The row boat being my faith, Jesus being my safety, and the waves as my struggles and emotions; this is the illustration I described to my friend to answer her question.
This conversation came back to me again today, and I started to think more about my illustration. And I started getting frustrated at God. I cried out to Him saying, “God what have I done? I have sought You over and over again in this hard season. I have clung to every word you have said as if they were my lifeline! I have chased after you with everything I have, pouring out my heart, spilling out all my tears, surrendering this season to you. And yet I still hurt; Oh God it is such an unbearable hurt! And I still struggle with deep temptations and fears. You have even allowed new struggles to surface that I didn’t even think would in this season! Yet through it all I have strived to be everything You need me to be. But how much longer do I have to go on without any relief? How much longer will you allow these mountain waves to crash on top of me?Will you allow them to crush me down to pulp until there is nothing left of me? Is that what you want God?
“Yes,” replied the Lord.
“I want you to have nothing left within you. No more human flesh ruling over you. No more weak human strength to rely on. No more fighting for control over a future that you have no idea what it holds. No more weak attempts at good works to be your salvation. No more impurities in your relationships. No more trusting in the lies of the Devil that convince you that you are not worthy, that convince you that I AM is not enough. No more self.”
“All of these things you have built for your foundation. It is now time to watch them crumble and fall. It may seem like your whole world is falling apart, but trust Me, I am just beginning to show you what true living is. Let me show you. Surrender to my grace. Allow Me to build my firm foundation within you. Yes, this process will be hard and it will be painful. But watch as you start emerging from the fiery furnace and come out as pure gold. Watch because I am making a new thing out of you. Trust me. I care for you. I love you,” says the Lord.
Now take this with a grain of salt, because this was just my time alone with God. This is what I was comforted with in my desperation. But biblically these promises line up with scripture. And that’s how God speaks to us.
So seek Him out. Wrestle in your hard season. But cling to truth and trust that God is good no matter what. Do not let the Devil have a foothold in your life by planting bitterness. Don’t be afraid to give God your hurt, you can trust Him with it. You might not like the process He allows you to go through. But trust that there will be growth in it. Surrender and watch what He does. He loves you and cares for you in every season of life. Hold on to that truth.
God bless you,
Love,
theblessingsgirl
theblessingsgirl 